 I love Snapped - the show on Oxygen where they profile women that snap and kill their spouse, their lover or their lover's wife or girlfriend. The guy I'm kind-of, sort-of dating (that's a whole nother gaggle of posts) was over one Thursday evening when I was watching my weekly mini-marathon of Snapped. The conversation went like this...
Guy: (with curiosity) "You watch this all the time?"
Me: (a bit too enthusiastically) "Yeah, they do a mini-marathon on Thursdays and some time if I'm lucky, I catch it on Sunday mornings too!"
Guy: (with a little nervous laughter) "Should I be concerned?"
Me: (incredulously) "About what, me, snapping?"
Guy: (seriously) "Yeah."
Me: (logically and with reassurance) "Oh no. I mean I would never! Sure, I might have gotten away with killing you in the 60's or 70's but now there's just way too much forensic technology. I'd never get away with it."
Guy: (with hesitation and not completely convinced) "Oh, ... okay..."
Wow ... now that I read that back, it could explain a lot ...
Anyway, just in case I ever do snap, here are a few things I will definitely not do:
1. Get a boob job immediately after the death of my husband and start sleeping around.
2. Wear shorts to the funeral and then laugh and act really relaxed and happy afterwards.
3. Take out a major life insurance policy a few weeks before killing my spouse.
4. Check out a bunch of books on absused women syndrome or google poisons and different methods of murder.
5. Ask any and everyone I know whether they know someone who I could hire to kill my husband.
6. Make a bunch of cell phone calls from around the crime scene near the time of the crime while insisting I was home all along. 7. Call 911 calmly and explain that someone had just shot my husband -then act completely unphased during the interregation.
Then again, maybe I should start watching more of Dance Your Ass Off... Labels: Television |
