Sweet, Dark and Crazy

Friday, August 14, 2009

I Know What Boys Like

Remember that song by the Waitresses? "I know what boys like. I know what boys like. Boys like me!" Well, on the cusp of 41, I think I can safely say they don't like me. Yes, I've dated but never much. Sure I've had boyfriends but with long periods of dateless, boyfriendless time in between.

Last night at dinner with my cousin, he assured me that I wasn't ugly. He also said the women on Maury who are obviously sleeping with many men (since they are on their for paternity) are the lowest common denominator and there are lots of them. Besides, he asked, would I really want that caliber of men? Of course not, but damn.

Is it too much to ask for a guy with morals and values who has a career and realizes that if he loses a job, his new job becomes finding another one? A guy who laughs at my jokes and has a decent sense of humor? Someone who knows how to balance a checkbook?

Anyway, on the drive home I thought about why men just aren't attracted to me.

I'm not the needy girl: I work. I own my own home. I pay my own bills and when I can't, I deal with it. I have never asked a man to pay my bills. This doesn't mean that I don't have needs that a man could fill (and I'm not just talking sex). I have a need for companionship, good conversation, somoene to eat what I cook, ... but I don't need help in the traditional way.
Men like needy. I think they like to feel like the man who can come in and save the day. Paying a bill or coming through for a woman on a superficial level is easy for a man. I need a man who is emotionally secure and able to communicate, those needs are harder to fill.

I'm the smart girl: I speak in full sentences. I use multi-syllablic words. I watch Jeopardy and the History channel. However, I don't wield my intelligence like a weapon and I never use it to cut anybody down. But I come across smart and most guys get turned off by that. I hate to say it but I've become a Sabrina. There were three Charlie's Angels Jill (Farrah), Kelly (Jaclyn Smith), after Jill left there was Kris (Cheryl Ladd) and the third was Sabrina (Kate Jackson). In all the episodes of CA, she helpedc solved many a crime but she NEVER got the guy. I'd be the Dorothy (Bea Arthur) if this were a Golden Girls analogy.
I think men like to be smarter than the woman they are with and might be intimidated by the fact that I can beat them at Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit. And I can! LOL!!!

I'm the funny girl: I got jokes! Lots of em! I can't tell you the amount of times that I've watched truly good material bomb as I sit across the table from 'bland serious' guy. Lighten up!
I don't think men think funny girls can be sexy but we can be both. I know I can be.

I'm the nice girl: I'm nice. I will help a guy with a PowerPoint for work or read over a report for him. I don't mind cooking for a guy or doing the airport run or paying for a movie or a dinner. I'm not a pushover but I am nice.
I don't really know why men don't like nice girls.

I'm not the high maintenance girl: I am fine eating at Applebees or going to a dollar movie. I don't expect a man to pay for my bills or for me to get my hair done or my car fixed. I'm not demanding.
Kanye West can rap all night long about a golddigger but the fact of the matter is that men like women like that. I've gone out with plenty of men who love to wave a wad of cash around and why would he do that if he didn't want to attract a woman interested in his money. I think high maintenance women help men feel needed and important.

I'm Not the Drama Queen: Let me clarify. I have my moments. Lord knows, I do. I cannot, honestly, say that I never ascent to my own Drama Queen throne complete with tiara and regal robes. HOWEVER, I have dramatic moments. I don't make drama a way of life. I'm not going to sleep with my man's friends or hook-up with random men at a club (I'm a nice girl!). I'm not going to get mad at a guy and vandalize his car or call the police just to get him in trouble.
I don't care what men say but there are a lot of Drama Kings out there! And those men like the Drama Queens.

I've said a lot here today people and I'm curious to hear what YOU think. Let's have more than 1 comment on this post.

Let the discussion begin.

Labels: Foot In Mouth, Men

posted by SDC @ 9:38 AM

0 Comments: