Sweet, Dark and Crazy

Monday, September 28, 2009

I Am Legend ... Really, I am!

You know the Will Smith remake, I Am Legend, the one where he is the last man on Earth (well almost) and it’s just him and his dog. Well, my life has become very similar – except without the night-crawling zombies craving human flesh.

As far as I can see, the only drawback I’ve come across to working from home is that I don’t have co-workers. All my life I’ve been a bit of a ‘social butterfly.’ At Headstart, I was spanked during nap time because I didn’t nap but talked quietly to the boy laying next to me. My kindergarten teacher referred to me as a ‘bit of a busy body.’ Flash forward 35 years and I’m THAT WOMAN, the one who talks to the checkout girl at the grocery store and chats with the mail man. No doubt, my manager was an ass but I truly enjoyed working with my co-workers and my supervisor.

Add to that the fact that I live alone and have no kids and no significant others and I am home all the time by myself. All the time.

Now my friends who are moms love to say how much they envy all that alone time and how they’d love to be me for an afternoon. Yeah, sure. But they don’t get it. It’s not an afternoon or a weekend off and then back to your family. It’s days and even weeks with minimal human contact. Since I’m not dating anyone, this could go on indefinitely. It could be years.

I have two friends I talk to almost daily, Tikki and Kyle. I have instructed both of them that if they haven’t heard from me in a couple of days to call my local police just to make sure I’m not at home dead and decomposing.

Plus, when I’m home a lot I tend to get wrapped up inside of my head and that’s never a good thing, not at all. I think about what would happen if I did die at home. Since I’m not in an apartment but a house, no one will smell my rotting flesh. How long, exactly, would it take before someone found me? Would Joey eat me if he got hungry enough? Would there be maggots? It seems as if there are always maggots (at least on TV)? Where do the maggots come from? Are they already in the house?

You see … alone with my thoughts for days on end is definitely not good for my mental health!

Now, if I end up locked in the house all day AND keep watching all those trashy TV shows, I think I’ll be ready for a padded room within two weeks. Of course, since I live alone, no one will know that I’ve lost my damn mind.

I SO need a life.

Labels: Friends, Me, Work

posted by SDC @ 2:42 PM

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