Sweet, Dark and Crazy

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

That's Not Sexy

Here is a list of 10 things that are not sexy.

10. Form fitting clothes on people without a decent form. As a public service, even if you think it looks okay, please don’t inflict it on the rest of us.
9. Taking a photo of your beer gut and flabby arms in a wife beater while standing in front of your hooptie and then using that photo on your profile on a dating site.
8. Sleeping around. You might call it liberating or pimping. The rest of us call it gross as you really look like a cesspool of venereal disease.
7. Stepping to me and trying to holla when you don’t have a job and live in your mama’s basement.
6. Excessive cleavage at work. Sure it works on TV, but this is real life.
5. Answering, “How was your weekend?” with explicit details of the sex you had. I wasn’t trying to hear all that. Really, I wasn’t.
4. Bad Breath. Nuff said.
3. Showing your privates to strangers (and people who are practically strangers) over the Internet on your webcam.
2. Being a guest on Maury for any reason.
1. Homemade Sex Videos: No one looks good with a dick in their mouth. Period. At least with porno movies, the people are professions. There are attractive professionals in front of the camera and, more importantly, professionals behind the camera, working out camera angles, lighting, hair/make-up and editing. None of that exists in your bedroom. It is not sexy.

Labels: Men, Rant, Sex

posted by SDC @ 11:46 AM

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