Sweet, Dark and Crazy

Monday, November 16, 2009

Only in the Movies

I love, love, love, love, love the movies! In fact, I harbor a secret fantasy to be dropped into a musical about my life (that way I'd be the star). I could be feeling down and break out into song. And then as I'm walking down the street singing, subtly at first, I'll do a few dance moves. Then strangers, who know the song and the moves will join me. It would be amazing!!!

Of course, that ain't gonna happen. I have tried doing a few dance moves while walking down the street but no one else knew the choreography. I just got weird looks. Anyway, here are a few other things that only happen in the movies.

Reel Life: You are on the run and forced to change your appearance. Armed with nothing but a dull razor or a rusty pair of scissors and a $2 bottle of peroxide, you'll emerge from the bathroom with a do-it yourself haircut that rivals the best Beverly Hills salon.
Real Life: The uneven spotty cut will leave you looking more conscpiuous than ever. In fact, you'll like someone who should be begging for change.

Reel Life: You've changed your hair, now it's time to change your clothes. Inevitably, you'll end up breaking into the home of someone who is EXACTLY your size and shares a similar taste in clothes.
Real Life: Maybe you'll run into someone who has a pair of earrings that fit!

Reel Life: No matter what the score is at half-time, there is no deficit that can't be overcome with a rousing speech.
Real Life: I'm from Cleveland and I'm a Browns fan. Need I say more?

Reel Life: The bad guy has been trying to hunt you down the ENTIRE movie. Now, with a loaded gun pointed directly at you, instead of just taking a shot or two, he has to stand there, confess to the crime, and tell you his entire life story including his master plan for finally killing you.
Real Life: Bang, Bang, you're dead. Shoot first, talk later.

Reel Life: You're being chased by the bad guy or the evil undead killer (Jason, Freddy…), yet you leave your high heel shoes on!
Real Life: The shoes are the first thing to go.

Reel Life: You are running (in the aforementioned heels) across a flat clean surface and you manage to trip and fall over NOTHING several times.
Real Life: If there is nothing to trip over, you won't trip. When is the last time you tripped over your own feet? And if you are tripping over your feet, lose the damn heels!

So, what have you noticed that can only happen in the movies?

Labels: Movies

posted by SDC @ 2:56 PM

1 Comments:

At November 18, 2009 at 7:02 AM, SDC said…

I love it when they have a choice between running out the front door and running upstairs and they run upstairs! Where are you going to go from there???