Sweet, Dark and Crazy

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

White Men Are Better

The call I was dreading came today. My father wants me to come 'home' for Christmas. First of all, where I'm from is where I'm from. I no longer consider it home and have not for quite a while. My family ended when my mom died. My dad is remarried. While I respect his family, I do not consider them mine.

I feel out-of-place when I go 'home' for the Holidays. It's like being a visitor at a co-worker's house - and not your BFF co-worker - but one you know in passing. But, what makes 'home' for the Holidays even more unseemly is that I'm 41 single with no kids ... and there are no indication that either of those situations will change. Being surrounded by married couples with kids is a painful reminder of what I don't have.

So I called my best friend, Deni to tell her I'd be home. She asked why I didn't sound enthused so I told her. I got absolutely no empathy or understanding. Instead, she launched into a diatribe about how I was single because I wasn't interested in white men. If I dated white men, I'd be married with three kids by now so my situation was solely my fault and it wasn't too late for me to jump on the white boy bandwagon.

I know several women who have 'crossed over' as she called it and the results have been mixed. Not every white man is some knight in shining armour. I am just not that attracted to white men and defintely not to the one's who approach me who are either:

Trying hard to be black ("Whass up sista?" "I love me some BLACK women!" Why don't you holla at a brotha?")

Think I'm some kind of socio-sexual experience (I've never been with a BLACK woman!)

I don't think either one of those men would attract my attention. And I guess what makes me so upset is the implication that she makes that white men are smarter, more generous and more suited to 'an educated black woman' and that there are no black men out there that can relate to me on my rarefied level.

The sad thing is that she might be right. What black men that are out there want white (or anything other than black) women. And I'm black.

So there you have it. I am not really attracted to white men and black men don't find me attractive.

Right now, I'm in the process of accepting that work is all I ever will have (and not even that is working out for me at the moment as I prepare to enter month four of unemployment). I am not going to settle for anything that I don't want just to have someone.

But today, when I called Deni, I needed a friend, not a bitch.

Labels: Friends

posted by SDC @ 4:41 PM 1 comments

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Wrong? I Don't Think So...

Yesterday, I told you I was a road ragin' lunatic. Well, this morning, I was driving to my little volunteer gig. I normally take the back way out of my subdivision because there is less traffic. This morning, I guess I was distracted becasue by the time I realized it, I was headed out the main entrance.

Anyway, I round a corner and at the end of this short street, there are a bunch of Jr. High School kids, mainly boys, at the bus stop. The boys are throwing a football and playing in the street. The "Quarterback" saw me as I turned down their street and he throws anyway and they run the play.

By this time, I've slowed to almost a halt. The ball has been caught and basically, they are still just running around the street. So I beeped. They moved. Fine. Whatever.

As I drive by, one of ~~Satan's Minnions~~ these children yells something at me. Well, I was still at the stop sign, so I rolled down my window, flipped his ornery ass off and drove away.

An asshole is an asshole, I don't care what grade he's in. Ass.

Labels: Rant

posted by SDC @ 2:11 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I CAN Do It!

I’m sweet as pie, ask anyone. Really I am. However, I transform in a road ragin’ maniacal nut case when I get behind the wheel. Seriously, I’m a bird-flipping, gesture-making, cussing like a potty-mouthed drunken sailor of a pippin’ hot mess. My theme song, Ludacris, “Move Bitch, Get Out the Way!”

I am not kidding when I say that people have come out of their cars to come after me. It’s bad.

So with this in mind, I told my two friends, Tikki and Kyle that my New Year’s Resolution was to stop cursing. When I told Tikki, she spent about a full minute laughing out loud, which had to be embarrassing because she was shopping in Target at the time(in the middle of the workday no less, can you say SLACKER!!!). After she was done laughing, she told me that it couldn’t be done. “Good luck with that one!” she said sarcastically.”How are you going to get around without driving?”

When I told Kyle, he too laughed hysterically, then he added that Samuel L. Jackson, King of the F-Bomb would have an easier time, not cursing than I would.

And to that I say, “What the fuck?”

I’ll prove all y’all bitches wrong! You wait and see!

Fuck you very much!

Labels: Rant

posted by SDC @ 2:44 PM 1 comments

Monday, December 7, 2009

Christmas Songs I Never Want to Hear

Jamie Foxx: Blame It On the Egg Nog. Just not a good idea.
Lil Wayne: Every Elf. "I’d like to fuck every elf in the world?? I don’t know but it sounds just a little disturbing.
Adam Lambert: If the video for his Christmas song was anything like his AMA performance we could be treated to him swapping spit with Santa and pushing some elf’s face into his crotch.
Lady GaGa: Let’s not have Bad Christmas. “I want your snuggie filled up with fleas, I want all the gifts as long as their free…”
Jeremiah: Christmas Sex. Just like Birthday Sex, buy a friggin’ gift.

Labels: Christmas, Music

posted by SDC @ 1:28 PM 0 comments

About Me

Name: SDC
Home: United States
About Me: I'm a youthful 44-year old, who is infectiously funny, dangerously smart, wildly creative, hopelessly math-phobic, tactfully honest, occasionally politically incorrect, and cute to boot!
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