 I'm 42 and single. Yes, there is Ashton, but I honestly can't see him as husband material (look at what's going on with the real Ashton). He's more of a boy-toy. Anyway, outside of regular sex, birthday and anniversary gifts, there are a few reasons why I might want to get hitched or jump the broom one day.
10 Reasons Why I Need a Husband
- I hate doing yard work.
- Sometimes I feel the need to rearrange furniture and I can’t do it by myself.
- I would love someone to take my car to get washed (or just wash it)
- I love to cook and need someone to help me eat all that food.
- I would always have a date for office Holiday parties.
- I wouldn’t be so scared when I wake up from a nightmare, if someone else was there.
- He can take the car to a mechanics and they’ll take him seriously.
- Unemployment would have been easier if I’d had access to a second income.
- He’d probably be funny and we could share a lot of laughs.
- I like shopping for men's stuff.
Then again, I kind of like my life right now. I do what I want, when I want, and answer to no one. When I leave the house and come back, everything is where I left it and no one eats the last cookie. Since I've got it pretty good right now, here's why I might be better off as I am. Why I don’t need a husband
- I can watch what I want on TV (and can always find the remote).
- I don’t have to get dragged to ridiculous horror and mindless action movies.
- I can wake up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom in the dark without finding out too late that the damn toilet seat was up.
- No snoring or blanket-hogging.
- My TV isn’t dedicated to sports for months at a time.
- There is never just ‘a swallow’ left in the juice bottle or milk carton.
- I know how to drive and don’t need someone to tell me what I already know.
- I have a cool last name.
- I have a lot of products in my bathroom and my closets are full. I don’t see that changing.
- Witnessing gross bodily functions and inappropriate scratching … all the time.
:)Labels: Men |
Hilarious.
Maybe I'm a strange guy but have the same complaints about getting a wifey. With the exception of sports, lol.
I'm coming out of a 10 yr relationship and I can agree with the reasons why not to..
I can watch what I want on TV (and can always find the remote).
Uggh that irked me so bad. She never put the remotes back where they belonged. Instead they would wind up on the floor, behind/under the bed, or in some magical compartment in between the sofa cushions.
I love the movies and would rather go alone and enjoy the movies I want to. With the exception of the numerous Disney movies I have to take my daughter to my 10 yr old used the term non-negotiable when picking out movies.
Most folk snore a lil but I could hear this chick from outside the room with the door closed. Oy Vey.
The juice thing OMG. why is it that the chick could not drink a whole can of soda. She left half cans all over the place.
I think the scratching is ok, it's when folks go digging, grabbing on their panties tyna pull out that deluxe wedgie that makes me aggie.
I think Marriage is so last decade.
Folks can't get along more than 5 yrs these days. lol.
Nice post.