Sweet, Dark and Crazy

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

People Please: Bathroom Signs!

There is a very annoying trend I’ve seen in many workplaces: Bathroom Signs. Signs in the stalls telling me to flush and tidy up. Signs at the sink telling me to wash my hands. And, if those weren’t enough, a sign on the door, as I walk out, reminding me to practice good hygiene. I’m practically 41 years old, why do I need a sign to tell me to do what I’ve been doing for damn near 40 years? There are no small children in the workplace, so why do we need signs touting the bathroom basics that are generally part of the elementary school experience.

Besides, all this signage is not working.

I’ve walked into some nasty-ass stalls – toilets filled with fully bloody unflushed tampons, toilets stuffed with smelly shit, toilet seats smeared with all sorts of bodily fluids. And in every single stall, guess what? There is a sign!

I’ve also been in a stall when I hear someone who may or may not flush walk out of the stall and straight out of the bathroom, ignoring at least three different signs in the process. What? Can’t they read?

There are two types of people who use the bathroom. There are the ones like me who will automatically flush the toilet and wash their hands just because it’s damn nasty not to. We will do it whether or not a sign is there to tell us. We were raised right.

I mean, seriously, “Thank goodness there was a sign in the bathroom reminding me to flush. I was just about to walk out of a stall filled with stinky-ass floaters when I saw the sign. It’s because of that sign, and only because of that sign, that I turned back around and flushed the toilet. Then, again, thank goodness for obvious signage, I was about to walk out with poop-tinged fingers when I spied, out of the corner of my eye, a sign reminding me to wash my hands. I swear, if it wasn’t for signs, I wouldn’t know what to do!”

Then there are the nasty folks. They have no intention of flushing, washing or doing anything else. In my last job, some woman left a puddle of blood on the floor in front of one of the toilets. If that isn’t nasty, I don’t know what it. But there was a sign in that stall. She must not have read it. Or maybe, just maybe, she just didn’t give a rat’s ass.

“Fuck a sign,” the Nasty One might say. “I don’t have time to flush or clean my fluids off a toilet. I mean, it’s not like it’s going to hurt anybody. They can just wipe it off themselves. As far as washing my hands, I used a lot of toilet paper, so I’m sure I don’t have poop-tinged fingers. And, I mean, I’m not sick so what’s the big deal?”

The big deal is that you are nasty! That’s the big deal. But a stupid sign isn’t going to help.

If you are reading this and you agree with me, let’s start a movement (not a bowel movement but if you have one of those flush!) but a movement to tear down the signs. Tear them down and out the nasty people by identifying them by their shoes!

Labels: People Please

posted by SDC @ 6:37 PM

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