Sweet, Dark and Crazy

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

F-Bombs and Bimbos

Sleep has been hard for me to come by lately. I’ve always had sleep issues, so right before my health insurance lapsed; I got some Ambien from my doctor. I’ve taken it before, no big deal. However, due to the stress I’ve been under (dealing with the unemployment, having next to know money, trying to work with the absolute idiots at Wells Fargo Home Mortgage to modify my loan), I had been taking an Ambien every night for about a week. I decided that wasn’t a good idea – especially since the doctor didn’t even give me one refill (damn him).

Saturday night was my first Ambien free night. I got exactly 40 minutes of sleep. I stayed up, wide awake watching TV. All night. I wasn’t dozing off and waking back up. I was wide awake all night long.

Here is what I learned”

You Can Cuss Like a Sailor in the Middle of the Night on Basic Cable
Channel surfing at 3AM, I stopped to watch Reno 911 on Comedy Central. It was about 3:30 when I realized this was the uncut version on basic cable and they were dropping F-bombs like they were in the middle of a battle. Since when can you say ‘fuck’ repeatedly on basic cable? Isn’t that some sort of FTC violation? I mean, for a few scenes, it was a few f-bombs every minute. It was crazy.

Since the Beginning of Time Rich Men have Liked Cheap Women (and vice versa)
That's what the infomercial said anyway... At 4AM, Comedy Central went into infomercial mode and this infomercial was interesting. It was designed to look like a ‘news’ program and the ‘host’ was an Indian guy who reminded me of the Indian Guy who plays the store manager in the Fiber One commercials who has to convince skeptical shoppers that the Fiber One cereal/yougurt is both delicious and filled with fiber.

He’s interviewing a woman who has founded a dating service. It’s not just any dating service though. This one is special. Basically, it allows rich men to meet cheap women … and all for $49 a month. For the life of me, I cannot remember the name, but they showed how happy this one former athlete and businessman was because he was dating several women from the site. Plus they keep the ratio of men to women at 20% men and 80% women. It’s a rich man’s wet dream! Really!

But the best part was the two friends, in bathing suits of course, who “came as a package deal.” They loved being “pampered and spoiled and wined and dined” by rich men. This was followed by talk of threesomes and a sexy romp in the pool with our host. Did I mention, it’s only $49.

It was a long night. Basically, basic cable late night is filled with potty mouthed sit-coms, sexy infomercials and a whole bunch of commercials promising bigger penises, longer love making and all sorts of promises of sexual pleasures!

I guess us insomniacs are a vulgar, horny bunch.

Labels: Sex, Television

posted by SDC @ 6:45 PM

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