Sweet, Dark and Crazy

Thursday, September 24, 2009

What Were You Thinking???

I was talking to Tikki earlier today and somehow the topic turned to fatherhood and she told me about some guy who was still in his 20’s and had fathered 21 kids. I couldn’t believe it, then I looked it up for myself and guess what, it’s true.

This knucklehead, 29-year old, minimum –wage earning sorry-excuse-for-a-man, Desmond Hatchett, has 21 kids with 11 women. The Knoxville native is happy to report that he knows the names and ages of all 21 kids. I say we should nominate him for Father of the Year! After his paycheck is garnished the mothers average, per kid, just under $2 in support.

What I don’t understand is what would possess mothers 3-11 to lay down and have children with this walking sperm bank. He’s not all that, he’s making minimum wage, he doesn’t appear to be that much of a catch. If I find out that a guy I’m dating has a number of kids with a number of women, that’s not just a red flag, it’s a red BLANKET and it’s covering me from head to toe. It’s a sign that I got to go. Moreso, it’s a sign that maybe, and this is a stretch, I know, maybe, I shouldn’t be entertaining the thought of carrying his child.

And if I do carry his child, should I be surprised when he ends up being a disappointment as a father?

This same scene plays out on Maury on a regular basis. A woman comes out on the stage, swears up and down that some clown is her baby daddy. Then, she tells on herself. She’ll say something like “And, Murray (because after all of these years, they still don’t know how to pronounce the man’s name) I know he got about 6 kids by 5 other women.” Really? You knew that and yet and still YOU had a baby with the idiot? Who’s the bigger fool?

I think I need my own reality show. I’ll call it What Were You Thinking? And I can ask the questions that none of these other trashy talk show hosts have the guts to ask.

“If you knew he had 18 kids with 9 other women, why were you so ready to be baby mama #10 and give birth to baby #19?

“Sometimes the condom does break and accidents happen, but we know that, more than likely, you laid down with this fool and had unprotected sex like all the rest of the baby mamas. Weren’t you afraid of getting some disease?

“Are you really surprised that he’s not supporting your kid? Really? Did you think your shit was so golden that you would be the one woman he wouldn’t disappoint?”

And the men wouldn’t get away with anything on my show, either. If I could have this Desmond Hatchett on my show I’d have some hard questions for him.

“Why don’t you get a hobby?”

“Do you really think knowing your kids’ names and ages makes you a good dad? How about their favorite color or their favorite subject in school? What books do you read to them at bedtime?”

“Is it true that you boasted about getting four women pregnant in one year? What was the accomplishment there?”

You were also quoted as saying, ““I didn’t intend to have this many. It just happened.” Walk me through that process where it just happens. And, while we are at it, what do you have against condoms and women who take birth control?

You also said, in your defense, that all of your baby mamas knew what they were getting into and that they knew you had a ‘large family.’ Well, what’s your excuse? You knew how many kids you had; you knew how much baby mama drama you had going on; you knew you make next to know money. So how come you didn’t know what you were getting into?

My plea is for all you intelligent people reading this blog … procreate! Do it now! The stupid people are breeding at an unprecedented rate. We have to do something to counter it or their ignorance will take over the world!

Labels: Men, Rant, Sex

posted by SDC @ 2:37 PM

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