| Monday, December 27, 2010 |
| Picky, Picky |
| I am a notoriously picky eater and I always have been. I don't eat what I don't like and that's a lot of stuff and its not random stuff like green peppers or peas. Most of my dislikes are hard to avoid. They include: 1. Bacon - NEVER! I even hate the smell of it!
2. Eggs - I do not want them scrambled. I don't want them over easy. The very thought of am omelet makes me really queasy.
3. Sausage patties or links - Yick! I can eat sausage on pizza or when its ground into something like lasagna. Strangely, I have no problem with smoked sausage. I don't hate pork. I'll have some ribs or a chop in a minute.
4. Mint - Peppermint, spearmint, any kind of mint. I don't even use mint flavored toothpaste. I use cinnamon instead. When people chew smelly mint flavored gum, it works my last nerves. This means no after dinner mints, no candy canes, none of it.
5. Maple syrup - Maybe it was all of those field trips out to Amish country as a kid but I hate maple syrup, maple candy and all things maple. I do like pancakes though as long as they are served with fruit or fruit-flavored syrups.
6. Butter - I do not slather it on bread or dump it on veggies. I cook with it but I don't add it on after the fact. However, I love movie theater popcorn with butter as long as its the fake butter. As you can see, eating breakfast is quite a challenge. At IHOP, I always get strawberry pancakes with a side of smoked sausage. It's particularly annoying when I go home because although I've eaten this way my entire life, my dad insist on trying to get me to eat some disgusting bacon or sausage. Every time! So should we ever meet, I prefer we go out for lunch or dinner. If you insist on taking me out for breakfast, we'll end up at IHOP or somewhere where they serve strawberry pancakes. I'll pass on the bacon burger and unless it's a cinnamon, I'll pass on that after dinner mint. Labels: Food |
posted by SDC @ 7:58 AM  |
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| Saturday, December 25, 2010 |
| I Blame Bing |
 In 1954, Bing Crosby made a movie called White Christmas. Of course, it features the iconic title song. Every since then, everyone has been “dreaming of a white Christmas.” Whatever.
I don’t dream of a white anything (and I’m talking about snow so don’t go getting all PC on me). I’m from the Midwest, right up near the Great Lakes. Growing up, we had real winters (not this milder crap of recent years) and horrific 'lake effect' snow (I'm talking feet of snow and not just a few inches). I remember going trick or treating in a big woolly coat. I’ve had enough of the white stuff to last a lifetime. As a kid (and teen) I remember, White Christmases, but I also remember White Novembers, White Decembers, White Januaries, White Februaries, White Marches and heck even White Aprils.
So here I am now, relocated to the Southeast and what are we all waiting for? The possibility of snow later on today. Oh Goodie!
Few things are as overrated as a White Christmas. It’s frickin’ snow people. That’s all!
Damn you Bing Crosby. It’s all your fault!
Today’s rant was brought to you be The Grinch.
Now that I’ve gotten that off of my chest ... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! Labels: People Please, Rant |
| posted by SDC @ 11:01 AM |
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| Wednesday, December 22, 2010 |
| 6 Things I Don't Want to See at Christmas (plus one more!) |
 1. Skinny Santa: Yes, I know obesity isn't healthy but, then again, Santa isn't real either (sorry, Virginia). Santa should be fat. He's jolly for goodness sake. When's the last time you saw a jolly skinny person?
2. Super Fake Santa: Okay, there probably aren't a lot of jolly white men with full white beards clammoring to put on a red suit and cater to a bunch of kids; but the long, scary, flowing, bright white, curly, obviously fake (and probably itchy) beards with matching massive fake eyebrows are just too much. This is Christmas, not Halloween. Santa should not be scaring the kiddies! 3. PC Santa: Santa is a fat white man. He is not African-American. He is not hispanic. And, he definitely is not a woman. While I'm all for equality, at some point, you have to say enough is enough. I almost caused a riot waiting to see Santa when I was six. Mom tried to take to me to a black Santa Claus. I told her then like I'm telling you now, "Santa is a white man."
4. Animals Dressed as Reindeer: It was bad enough when the Grinch forced those antlers on Max the Dog in the movie. No dog, cat, horse, hamster or other animal should be forced into the antlers OR the fake red Rudolph nose. It's just wrong.
5. Non-Sale Sales: There is nothing worse than going to a store for a good Christmas sale only to find that they hiked up the original price so that the 'sale' price is still more than I want to pay ("You call THAT a sale???").
6. Crappy Christmas Cars: Of course, we all want to live the dream. We all want to run down the stairs to see that brand new Lexus, BMW or Mercedes in the driveway, wrapped with a big red bow! Now that's a gift! However, if the bumper is falling off the car, if it hasn't been cleaned since before last Christmas, if the rust in the floorboards is so bad that you can actually see the road beneath you, do not, I repeat, do not, wrap the hooptie in a bow. Oh , as I was out and about on Christmas Eve, I came up with one more ... 7. Evil Ass People in Santa Hats (and other 'festive' dress): We have discussed at length in this post, the jolliness of the big white guy in the red suit. So, if you are going to celebrate the 'spirit' of the season with a Santa hat, then be prepared to ACT like you're happy. Don't walk through the store (or parking lot) rudely and with a decidely unfestive scowl on your face. WWSD? What Would Santa Do? He'd be jolly! He'd have the right attitude to go with the outfit. If you insist on acting like a Grinch, then use the green face paint so the rest of us know what we are getting into when we deal with your evil-acting-Santa-hat wearing self. Labels: Random Shit, Rant |
| posted by SDC @ 7:28 PM |
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| Monday, December 13, 2010 |
| Zombies? |
 AMC just finished the first season of The Walking Dead, a zombie series. Now, I love a good AMC series. I am completely onboard with Mad Men and Breaking Bad, but zombies, really? I just can’t get into zombies.
I’m not a big horror fan and while I don’t watch any of the vampire-based shows (True Blood, Vampire Diaries, …), if I had to be a monster, I’d be a vampire. They are sexy. They stay up all night (I’m a bit of a night owl too).
My second choice would be werewolf. Sure, it would suck to be that hairy, but it is kind of cool to turn into some brand new super strong creature. Also, I don’t know, but baying at the full moon is kind of cool. Plus, I could still be human most of the time.
But zombies? Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t they sort of dumb. They are slow and uncoordinated. In fact, the only time I ever saw zombies really move was in the Thriller video. They just walk around looking lobotomized, and drooling. Plus, they eat human flesh. Sucking blood is one thing, but eating flesh? Eeewww.Labels: Random Shit |
| posted by SDC @ 12:08 PM |
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| Sunday, December 12, 2010 |
| The Perfect Ending! |
 A lot of women spend a lot of time planning their weddings. I used to do that but I don’t anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever get married … but I do know that I’m going to die. So, in my mind, I’ve started planning my funeral.
With that in mind, yesterday, I watched the funeral of Elizabeth Edwards. She had a great turnout and some truly heart-felt eulogies from several friends and her eldest daughter Cate. As funerals go, it was damn good … that is … until … the woman at the piano started singing Amazing Grace. I was horrified!
This woman wailed, shouted and ran out of runs singing this song. It was too much. It was WAY too much. I don’t want any overly gospelized versions of any song at my funeral. Anyone who allows that crap to happen can rest assured that I will haunt the hell out of them. For real!
Here’s what I want.
- A few eulogies about what a warm, funny and giving person I was.
- A full face of tastefully applied makeup
- A nice suit (preferably red, but black would be okay)
- Hair done (a tasteful bun could work too)
- Music: Going Up Yonder (without the excessive gospel histrionics)
- Music: as they are carrying me out – Long and Winding Road and Weight – by The Beatles. That’s right by The Beatles. Play the CD, don’t dare let anyone sing it.
I tried to find the clip from the funeral but I couldn’t (which is probably a good thing). Here instead is The Simpsons own Bleeding Gums Murphy doing his painfully protracted rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. This is an example of what NOT to do people. (Click here!)Labels: Random Shit |
| posted by SDC @ 4:40 PM |
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| About Me |
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Name: SDC
Home: United States
About Me: I'm a youthful 44-year old, who is infectiously funny, dangerously smart, wildly creative, hopelessly math-phobic, tactfully honest, occasionally politically incorrect, and cute to boot!
See my complete profile
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